Monday, September 03, 2007

And All That Could Have Been

Have you ever been constrained by your mind? I'm not talking in the, "I had a steel I-beam crash three stories, shattering my spine, so now my mind won't talk to my legs anymore" sense, but more in the sense that you have something you want to say but the creative goo that oozes through your cranium just won't let you say it in a way that's productive, useful or appropriate?

Point in example: I have a few ideas for a topic to throw up onto Bonez, (heh, throw up), but I cannot find a way of discussing the topic without heavily traversing that line between good and bad taste, between prurient morbidity and shock value. The topic in question, snuff movies. Amusingly enough, the subject matter itself is of little concern to me. I could write about snuff films on the Bonez blog until the cows came home (to the abattoir) and never worry about crossing that line into offense. But there are limitations.

I certainly would not choose to link to violent material (chechclear, ofex, the events in Dagestan, etc.), as the inclusion of these materials would hurt me and my reputation in multiple ways. I think it's fair to say that if I linked that sort of material, I would be asked to leave Bonez, and honestly, I don't feel that I've finished with corrupting the hearts and minds of those that peruse the site. In all honesty, I've written about such topics, though in a much more limited context. See my Dwyer post. That was me toeing that line, writing about something rather gruesome, but never quite making the plunge into the meat (pardon the pun) of the subject matter. I didn't link the video and everybody got to crawl into their warm snuggly beds and dream pleasant dreams of kittens and rainbows.

But in order for me to attack a subject of such ferocity, or to impart unto you horrors of which you (hopefully) have never dreamed, it is incumbent upon me as both writer and guide, to give a fundamental understanding of the nature of the subject. Absent the ability to provide visual aid in either frozen frame or full motion, I would have to find a secondary means of demonstrating these horrors. That, of course, leaves me with nothing but the written word. Anybody who's spent enough time around me would probably prefer that I not go into lengthy diatribes describing horrific acts.

I have watched Bonez enough to know that we have begun to develop a rather diverse readership. I am certain that this is because of the varying nature of topics one can discover on Bonez at any given moment. My contributions, morbid as they may be, constitute but one slice of the full pie offered to all who wish to browse here. My fear is that even by offering mere descriptions of my topic of choice, I will put off, frighten, upset or otherwise alienate faithful readers. I certainly would not want to be responsible for the breach of trust that would ensue between our readership and Bonez as an entity.

Therefore, in the spirit of fair play, I have elected NOT to post on the topic, as badly as I want to, as I just do not think that I can find a way of doing it without pushing the line too far, without crossing the event horizon and reaching the proverbial point of no return.

If all of this smacks of egotism, I do heartily apologize. It really is not my place to soliloquize, but after several posts of deviation from my earlier voice, I felt it only fair that I at least explain why there has been such a tragic gap in my discussion of the tragic.

If there are any who would truly like to see what the post might have been, let me know and I'll consider throwing it on my personal blog. But for now, I fear that I have to indulge in a little self censorship.

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Lisa Wines said...

E. I love you. Thank you for the surfalishess time.

E said...

Awwww, thanks. I've really labored over that post that never existed. Maybe one day.....