Tuesday, December 18, 2007

All I See is Pornograffiti, All I Hear is Pornograffiti

Like many others here at Bonez, I pride myself in striving to put forward the very best original content I can muster. Whether this endeavour is successful is ultimately a subjective decision. I'd like to think that at least one or two of my missives offered a minor amount of mild entertainment to somebody, though I'm sure at least one of my works has caused someone to spontaneously claw their own eyes out while screaming for me to get out of their head.

All that being as it may, I cannot help but notice a fact, of late, that I've discovered to be a tad disheartening. As you may or may not have noticed, over there on the right panel doo-dad, we maintain a list of the "Bonez Top Hits". Like anybody else that posts here, I strive to make my material of a quality that attracts an audience and a few hits. Truth be told, I've managed one or two posts that seem to find their way onto (and back off of) that list regularly. But there is a darker side to that list, and it is a trend I've seen plastered across these multiwebs in various manners. I've tried to stay silent on the topic for ages, but the time at last has come for me to speak.

Take, for example, the Bonez Top Hit List of the last 24 hours. At the time of this writing, here are the top 10 entries. Let's see if anybody can spot the trend:

1) Orangina and Kyla Ebbert Exposed
2) Beauty and the Breast
3) Interwebs Porn Wins Over Iran Nukes
4) Female Porn
5) Japan's Tiny Butts No Contest For World's Best Bottom
6) NSFW Video of Hot Cam Babe Stripping
7) Flexible Women and UFO's
8) HOOPZ is Sexy Latin Dance Video
9) Free Viagra Robot Sex Cow Molesting Aliens
10) JK Rowling's Boobs Make Personal Appearance

Did you spot it? Don't be upset, it's easy to miss.

Now, please don't take this as an indictment of my fellow Bonez crewmembers. I am not denigrating their work or contributions, nor am I implying anything. It's just hard to deny what the big draw is here.

Let's go for another example. I'm going to give you two possible titles for this entry. I want you to select the one that will get me more hits:

1) A Personal Diatribe on the Overabundance of Sexual Material Apparent in Internet Trends and a Discussion for Methods of Reversing Them

2) Totally Naked and Hot Brazillian Chicks Doing Dirty and Naughty NSFW Things in Schoolgirl Skirts

Again, who do you think the winner would be here? I'm gonna have to go with number 2, though stranger things have happened, I suppose.

As I stated before, this isn't a Bonez related trend. This can be seen across all of the intarwebs. Let's look at the trends on Wikipedia...

Number 4 - List of Big Busted Models and Performers
Number 6 - List of Sex Positions
Number 10 - List of Female Porn Stars

Need I point out that Wikipedia is a fucking ENCYCLOPEDIA? Yeah, I think I'll go spank it to Britannica, back in a few. Usually when I'M hitting Wiki, it's to, I don't know, LEARN something? I like to feel like I leave the encyclopedia a little fuller than when I arrived and not emptier. [wink, wink, nudge, nudge]

Seriously, folks, there are a great many people out here who are trying to offer content. Substance, if you will. It can be a bit annoying to put forward your best effort (good or bad as it is) knowing that you'll automatically lose out to the SAME SHIT YOU SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE. It's not really hard to find porn on the net. It's kind of like trying to find grass in a field.

I've discussed this dilemma with Bonez himself on many occassions, as I refuse to stoop myself to writing about any of the following: breasts, boobs, milkbags, jugs, tits, winkle, vibraphone, booblies, perky erect nipples, hot and ready women, and/or Edison wax cylinders. I just can't bring myself to do it.

Does this make me an elitist? I guess it's how you want to look at it. I just consider it having some boundaries. I'm not offended by it, I'm not upset by it, it just seems like it's all kind of been said. I'm not certain what position, perversion, or fetish hasn't been written about by now.

For the record, said perversion would be photopyrobestialpedonecrophilia, which you now know is the act of achieving sexual gratification by having photos taken of oneself having sex with flaming dead baby animals.

Dead animals? You disgust me. You sick, sick pervert.

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Jollyjo said...

We can never escape (do we really want to).

I was invited to join a board recently and it struck me that absolutely no one would be there without the 'hair raising" images.

Yeah you really can't escape even if you wanted to.

E said...

I have a few places I go online where it is possible to escape those kinds of pictures and videos, it's just that most people wouldn't want to see what's there instead. ;)

Bonez said...

I would have been much more impressed if you had included each of the Bonez examples with links so we could snare a few more unwitting souls into the evil web of the Bonez pornotopia.

E said...

I had actually considered doing that, Tony, but it occurred to me that they're ALWAYS in the top links list and I listed them by post name. ;)

Anonymous said...

I was in the mood for some porno, something lite. Not anything nasty or hardcore, no spit or choking, just some tits and a smiling girl. So I figured I'd do a google search for "Booblies". The first link I clicked was a Jessica Biel pic (nips) that led me to this page.

The irony is spinning my head right now.

E said...

I will gladly accept 3 "Hail Mary's" as pennance. :P