Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Jesus Is...A Dummy?

Who needs burning bushes or flaming virgins or stone tablets or, well, heck, who needs church...when you have Dummy Jesus?

Once you stop laughing at the album covers below, click on the following links to feast your eyes on the incredibly diverse Christian singin' commun-i-tay:
And now, without further a-doo-doo, here are the many faces of Dummy Jesus:


E said...

Seeing a post on Jesus makes me reflect on a question that's been plaguing me since last Sunday.

If you die on your way to church, is it right to assume that it's because Jesus hates you and you're automatically going to hell?

Bonez said...

And where did you come up with that overly twisted logic, E? And what does dying have to do with if Jesus loves you or not? Everyone dies eventually. With or without Jesus in the formula. So what does dying while enroute to a church have anything to do with Jesus' potential love or hate for a particular individual?

Lisa Wines said...

E's response to Tony: Oh, nothing. But it was an interesting thought!

It reminds me of the fact that in law firms, the closer your office is to the partners' offices, the closer you are to becoming partner. So, does it follow that the closer you are to the church when you die...?

What if you were driving there in a crazed rage to murder the priest because he had molested you 45 years ago?

I don't know the answers, alas and alack. I am a heathen and think that heaven and hell are right here on Earth. Amen brotha.

Anonymous said...

"Jesus Chrysler Drives a Dodge"
-The Pixies

E said...

Perhaps I do know the answers and I'm just trying to steer you towards them. ;)

I don't think the logic is all that twisted. You're on the way to church, the one hour a week that you are supposed to fully devote to your god. (In the Christian church, I refer of course to the triumverate) Therefore, I do not see it as a massive leap of logic to assume that if

A) God is omniscient
B) You're enroute to worship him
C) He must hate you if he doesn't see you there safely.

Welcome to my brain, Tony, it makes sense to me. :P

Lisa Wines said...

A) God is omniscient
B) Dummies are God's messengers
C) Dummies are omniscient

E said...

I'll let Frank Zappa tell it. (From Dumb All Over)

He made us all to be just like him. So if we're dumb then god is dumb. And maybe even a little bit ugly on the side.