Thursday, January 31, 2008

That There, That's Not E

A friend of mine surreptitiously took this picture last night at a local bar. I was shown this photograph today and it made the very blood in my veins run icy as the Arctic seas. It seemed innocuous enough, just a picture of a man watching a game of darts. Only the man in the photo was me. And yet, not me. For you see, today I was provided with proof of my doppelganger and it sent a shiver of terror throughout me. What shall I make of his appearance?

German folklore would have me believe that the appearance of my doppelganger is an ill omen, forewarning of misery or death. Which of these he seeks to bring me, I do not know. Does the chosen time for his appearance have any particular meaning? Again, questions for which there can be no answer.

Thousands of horrible thoughts run through my head at a mile a minute. Could he be my long lost twin, thwarted in his attempt at devouring my fetus in the womb, come back to wreak the revenge he has so long sought? Perhaps he's a robot sent from the future to replace me, to act as my double while shadowy government organizations whisk me away to fly spaceships for Robert Preston. It's hard to say.

Should a man want to meet his twin? Should I remain terrified or should I take the opportunity to try and meet him? Perhaps we could get together and remake all of the great movies involving identical twins over the years, like Double Impact. Hell yeah! I can be the good Jean Claude van Damme and he the evil.

Regardless of his intentions, I think I will remain cautious. And by cautious I mean over reactionary. I write this from my panic room, located in my bomb shelter underneath the ocean. One can never be too careful, and if he truly IS my doppelganger, he'll be wily enough to find me.

One thing can be said though, he is one sexy bastard.

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Saradevil said...

He's not half as sexy as you.

By the way that link to the Smashing Pumpkins video actually brought tears to my eyes. I'm so posting that on my blog!

E said...

Tears to your eyes? Did Billy Corgan's wailing upset you or send you into giddy fits? Either way, I understand. :P

Bonez said...

I didn't get the Smashing Pumpkins vid and thought it was trying to capture the old hippie free love era and doing so rather poorly, at that. However, on the other hand, Disney's animated remake of the true story of the Titanic so aptly entitled Titey has me anxiously awaiting its two week DVD release.

E said...

If you enjoyed Titey, you'll probably like this one as well.

Anonymous said...

You're GOD DAMNED right a friend of your took a picture in a bar. A MALE Friend of yours snuck around a Georgia Redneck bar trying to take secret pictures of another guy!

It was way freakier in person though - same clothes, mannerisms, walk etc.. I think we may have found the "Good E" to our beloved "Evil E".

Lisa Wines said...

There is no Evil E. Pass the word.

That guy looks like he's sleeping on the job anyway. It couldn't be you.

And just remember an important thing about your Doppelganger (love that word), "if it switches it won’t be able to switch back."

No switching. That's the ticket.

E said...

I'm hoping he shows back up next Wednesday. That way me and my friends can kick the guy's ass for trying to steal my style. :)