Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Looking Good for Jesus

Looking Good for JesusU.S. cosmetics company Blue Q is making waves with its "Looking Good for Jesus" brand of cosmetics. If you thought only Muslims are easily offended and ridiculously outraged over comedic religious inferences, think again. Catholics are up in arms over the sexual innuendos associated with items that promise to help the ladies to "get His attention." As a result, British retailer Topshop removed the line from stores in Singapore after shoppers there complained the products “trivialized Jesus Christ and Christianity”. Fox News is making damned sure all American Christians get plenty of information so they can be righteously offended and feel persecuted, also.

Promising to “redeem your reputation and more,” the product line includes a “Virtuous Vanilla” lip balm and a “Get tight with Christ” hand and body cream. Product packaging has the image of Jesus looking toward heaven and wearing a white robe while supposedly sexy caricatures of women gaze dreamily up at his face.

Jesus Action FigureThere are lots of nice Christian jihad raising toys to play with like the deluxe Jesus action figure with glow in the dark miracle hands and eight holy accessories. Or how about the Jesus bobble head?

In my opinion, the ultimate Jesus paraphernalia poor taste award should go to Glow in the dark pedophile Jesus Loves You light switch plate. And if all of this flippant blasphemy has you worried about the fate of your eternal soul then you may want to Wash Away Your Sins as soon as possible.

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GeologyJoe said...

Is there any Mary Magdalene Massage Oil with that kit?

Bonez said...

I refuse to give in to the numerous comical thoughts and images I've come up with over this one, GeoJoe. There are so many of them but I will let the Bonez readers put forth their own here and join you in the fun.

Ole Blue The Heretic said...

All this broha over a myth.

Bonez said...

Spoken like a true Pastafarian, Blue. Welcome back to the Bonez fold of non-believers, assorted crack pots, verifiable lunatics, living dead, born again atheists, and inquiring minds who wanna know.

Ole Blue The Heretic said...

That reminds me I need to cook spaghetti and meatballs for dinner tomorrow. It is Friday you know. Perhaps I can eat a hotdog with no bun as well.

Bonez said...

Ah, the old meatless Friday dilemma. Well, that is only one branch of the Christian faith... Catholic, to be precise. Most don't adhere to that sort of strict traditional symbolic enactment. In fact, most American Christians don't even know what Lent is... or Advent... or most of the other "holy days" celebrated around the world even by non-Catholics (especially in Europe which I think is a hoot since most are not Catholic or even "religious" there).

I think I am having Mexican tonight and then going to watch David Copperfield... which is something else some staunch evangelical fundamentalist Christians would call a sin ... weird.

Lisa Wines said...

I, for one, am offended. As a dedicated Bonez reader, you have inaccurately portrayed me. Instead, I call myself an assorted non-believer, a verifiable crack, a dead lunatic, a living again, born atheist, an inquiring pot and an equilateral mind.

be that as it may, and since we of the above persuasion are not perfect, but definitely forgiven, so shall you be.

Wow, it's kind of fun writing with a stick up my ass.

Anyway, I want to own and then resell all of these products. I already had the Moses action figure. And I hear from a good source (John McCain) that Mary Magdalene used olive oil, go figure.

GeologyJoe said...

omyword....i knew it!

Bonez said...

~OMyWord!~ I am grateful for your absolution of my horrific sins in mislabeling you unjustly. All praise and glory be to your verifiable crack forever and a day. And all the Bonez Crew said, "amen and amen" and the Flying Spaghetti Monster gently caresses us all with its noodley appendage.

BTW, I hope that the recovery time from the surgical procedure to remove that gigantic stick up your ass isn't too long and painful or prevents you from continuing your participation on the Bonez Crew.

I believe GeologyJoe has a pre-order in for the Mary Magdalene Massage Oil and I'm sure he expects the Holy Family discount.