Thursday, April 24, 2008

99 Words for Boobs

Listen up! I'm NOT dead or MIA, folks, just on a bit of a sabbatical to catch my breath in life. Sometimes we all need to just step back and re-evaluate what the hell is going on and ponder our options and choices. I can't tell you how long that is going to take me, but I am not going to be too far away most of the time. In fact, to prove that point, I am posting this contemplative video for everyone to meditate to. Okay, so I am posting it to piss E off, too, so he can continue his bitching and moaning about how more people want to see boobs than read original creative writings. Hello! Amazing but true fact number 1003 clearly states that when presented with the choice of looking at breasts or reading creative and original blog content the boobies will win every frakkin' time.

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E said...

apples, balcony, balloons, bangers, bazongas, bazooms, bean bags, big brown eyes, bon-bons, boobies, boobs, bottles, boulders, bullets, bumpers, busters, butterbags, canteloupes, fleshy funbags, gazongas, glands, blobes, grapefruits, guavas, handful, hand-warmers, headers, headlights, hills, honkers, hooters, howitzers, jaboos, jibs, jugs, jumbos, kazongas, knobs, knockers, lactoids, loaves, loblollies, love bubbles, love muffins, lulus, lungs, mammets, mams, mangoes, meatballs, meatloaves, melons, milk bags, milk cans, milk jugs, milk shop,mounds, mount of ulies, mountains, muffins, mulligans, murphies, nancies, nature's fonts, niblets, ninnies, nippers, nodules, noogies, nubs, nubbies, nuts, oranges, orbs, ottomans, pair, palookas, papayas, paps, peaches, peaks, pears, pects, peepers, pillows, pips, pokers, pontoons, potatoes, pumpkins, pumps, rib cushions, roundies, sandbags, scones, scoops, set, shakers, shimmies, skin sacks, snuggle pups, spheres, spuds, stacks, stuffing, sweater meat, sweet rolls, swingers, tamales, tetons, tidbits, tits, titters, titties, tomatoes, tooters, torpedoes, twangers, twin peaks, twofers, umlauts, upper deck, waldos, warheads, warts, watermelons, whoppers, wobblers, wongas, yabbos, yams, zeppelins

That is all.

Lara said...

You're assuming that only men (or lesbians) are surfing the internet. I can honestly say that not once in my life have I even contemplated clicking on a link with boobage. Now, show me some hairy man boobs (moobs) and that's a whole different story. ;) Welcome back! :)

Bonez said...

Impressive, E. I was disappointed that one of my favorites wasn't in the song... "ta tas". And then they didn't appear on your list so maybe they are now a defunct reference. Glad to see that you are not continuing to bemoan your struggles with acceptance of boobs as the primary motivator of all humankind.

Bonez said...

Lara, I sincerely try not to assume anything but you may have nailed me soundly on this one. I may have... MAY have... assumed most women... not all but most, mind you, be they lesbian or not... still appreciated a good tit shot from time to time and most women are at least secretly bi-sexual in nature thus they definitely enjoy ogling other women's assets. Granted, I might have been guilty of an assumption and if so I apologize for my indiscretion and hope you haven't found anything in the sanitary and family-friendly world of Bonez to have been even remotely offensive to your tastes.

We at Bonez do our damnedest to please the desires of our very exclusive and discreet guests/readers, so in that spirit I provide you with the link you requested for hairy man boobs (moobs). Enjoy and you can thank the Bonez Crew with a healthy contribution at the Bonez Paraphernalia Shoppe at your earliest convenience.

Anonymous said...

Gazongas. I don't think that made the list. :-)

I think boobs are lovely, in all of their different configurations. But I don't think I would prioritize a peek at boobs over, say, a discussion about neocons trying to destroy the Middle East. Aren't I the sexy thinker? hehe

Not now dear, I have to get angry and type fast, using many cuss words, but don't get excited.

It's a good sign that when you "dip in and out" of Bonez from time to time, that you discuss "weighty" matters of the Freudian persuasion.

Bonez said...

Ooooo, OMyWord! Gozongas... SWEET! The word udderly screams delicious mammary goodness. Thank you for sharing with the Bonez world your support for my assumption (or is it a theory?) that most women enjoy boobage watching and are (as a minimum) closet bisexuals.

Of course, ever the wit, you made me LOL (oh, did I really just type "LOL"? WTF?) when you jested about preferring to discuss the neocon agenda for world domination and Borg assimilation over a peek at boobs or maybe some hardened nipples poking tautly against the fabric of... oh, you didn't mention that part... my bad. Anyway, it was quite funny. (um... er... hmmm... yeah)

However, I feel I must point out one glaring assumption on your part, My Dear. You intone that I lean toward more ponderous or ample endowments when just the opposite is more likely true, in my case. Let me also clarify for those of Lara's persuasion who prefer hairy moobs that I am only tantalized by the feminine fare.

Wow, I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Thank you, OMyWord! for dropping in and making my day. I will try to be a little less out of Bonez and more in from here on.

Lara said...

I still think you've got it all wrong. I don't know any women who would go out on a quest to see boobs. Heck, we've already got them! Do you, as a guy, click on every dick and balls link that you see? You know what...don't even answer that. I mean, YOU were the one caught perusing a moobs website. I can honestly say I've never done THAT. You really ARE a pervert. :P

Cylithria Dubois said...

Damn - I clicked the moobs link. Going to erase the brain now O_O

Cerulean said...

An interesting stimulus for meditation, Tony, but I find it causes me difficulty focusing my inner eye.

Bonez said...

Lara ~ You may be right and I do indeed have "it" completely wrong. Won't be the first time or the first topic I've had complete failure to grasp and/or communicate and it won't be the last. I agree, most women would NOT strike out on a quest specifically to see boobs (if there are any women out there who think contrary to this please speak up now), but that doesn't disprove my hypothesis. BTW, I didn't peruse a moobs website. I googled images of moobs in hopes of satisfying your desires and maybe a few other fine discerning Bonez readers. There's no accounting for taste and that goes for mine, as well. Am I a pervert... to some yes and to others no. To me maybe but then my opinion doesn't really count ;)

Cylithria ~ Sorry about the moobs link but you know you wanted to see it. Believe me, I wanted to claw my eyes out when I stumbled across it.

Cerulean ~ Welcome to Bonez, Sir and thank you for participating on the Bonez Crew. Greetings aside, I apologize for defocussing your inner eye stuff but hey, everyone should take a break from examining the lint in their own bellybuttons from time to time.

E said...

This is all being written on the internet, a vast technical marvel that more or less insures that NONE of us will ever have to actively seek out boobs again. Jesus, go to and try to find a search that DOESN'T return boobs somewhere.

It's kind of like searching for sand on a beach.